Skinny Mirrors and Fat Mirrors

Man, I have really been struggling with everything lately. I literally cannot get a hold of my nutrition. And I swear that all of this is mostly mental. All in my head! I look in every - single - mirror I pass by, critiquing every inch of my body and the bad part is that I am probably in best shape I’ve been in, in about 10 years. Seriously, the stress of maintaining my body weight is driving me crazy. I work out and bust my ass and somehow I tell myself it’s not enough and then some days I’m like, it’s OK, it’s enough. I can remember about six months ago I would have done anything to be in the same position that I am in now. I had started losing weight when I started my new workout routine that included lifting weights and being consistent with my routine and now the scale is going up. BUT, it’s SUPPOSED to. So, what is my freaking deal? I literally am trying my best to be stronger than the mirror.

Speaking of mirrors, all my life…skinny mirrors and fat mirrors. How does that even happen? One mirror, I’m like, YES, you look great. And the next, I’m like what the fuck is this. My long mirror at my lake house is amazing, I always look good in that. My mirror at home, yikes! Also, I put clothes on and I feel pretty good, but naked, I honestly try not to even look at myself, mostly when I’m getting ready for work. Now that I’ve been lifting, I can feel the muscle and the thickness I’ve put on and it scares me, but at the same time this is the most confident I’ve been in shorts my whole life. I am definitely in my “just wear the shorts” era. I realize that this whole post is completely contradicting.

Which mirror to trust, is that the question?